Mask

Lying here, a voice begins to tell me.
You’re not good enough.
Never have been strong enough.
I won’t let you fix me I'll tell you I'm not broken.

Can you tell now I'm not breathing, alive but not living.
All smiles but not believing.
Soon I realise I cannot wake from these nightmares.
All along I was alone.
Suddenly you'll see through this

My mask has slipped at last, my tortured soul revealed. The makeup removed revealing the scars. And all my cover-ups disappear.....

Inside my mind a voice continues its  painful monologue:
you’re not good enough.
Never have been strong enough.
Hello I’m your world come back into me and continue your lie.
Pretend you don’t need fixing, your not broken.
Scorn the hand that only wants to save you.
It’s transparent anyway.
You couldn’t survive this reality
So why not create your own, hide in it where they can’t see you

So I’ll redo my makeup and find that smile to hide behind
its amazing how under that, all scars are invisible.
And I’m safe once more behind the mask.
I’ll freeze inside myself

And convince myself this pains dreaming and that I won’t wake alone.
This world and mine are blurring. Which is the one that’s real?
Now I cannot survive in either. While in both I live a lie.
Bathed in regret but still not clean.
Pouring out my sanity
I realise my mask cannot hide me from dying alone